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Fear itself..

faggot T
"There is nothing to fear but fear itself" A quote that I think everyone has heard before. I find that most of my greatest struggles in life have been a result of my own fear. To this day I allow my own fears to limit me far far to often. This is not to say that I dont take steps to face my own fears but I still seem to allow them to get the better of me. The most resent struggle that I am having is with a a "class" I am taking. For those who dont know I have had the great opportunity to take Witchcraft 1 with Christopher Penczak and out of all of the excercise that we have had the thing that interferes with my studies the most is FEAR. First it was fear of Christpher himself. I have met him he is a kind person and very excepting but my own insecuritys have manifested as fear and self doubt. What if he doesnt like me? What if he doesnt think I have the skill, ability or drive to be a part of his teachings? Next it was what if the people in the classs dont like me? Some of those questions have been answers but I am still riddled with more questions each time. What if what I experienced is all in my head? What if I dont get any results from this excercise? Most of these questions relate to my issues with self worth. I find that they increase with my recent weight gain. So what is the next step? People have told me to use affirmations and even to do some shadow work. I think I will have to try to stick it out with affirmations alittle longer. I find that when I do them I kind of scoff and dont believe what I am saying. As for Shadow work, it is my understanding that you dont start this work until you are ready seriously deal with the many issues that arise. It isnt work for the light hearted. So I need the baby steps version.

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
msknboy
Jun. 30th, 2009 08:34 am (UTC)
Wow! thank you for putting it down in writing. I am so glad that I am not the only person that has these little voices in my head. the only advice that I would give is "fake it until you make it" I know it sounds corny but it works. You realize that you are not the only one when you get your feet wet. Good luck, I know that you have the fire. It doesn't matter how many people tell you that, it only matters when you feel it yourself. Namaste.
wyrd_rowyne
Jul. 2nd, 2009 03:40 am (UTC)
Thanks hun. Everytime I think I have reach a point that I have over it I seem to stumble again. Most of us deal with it to some degree..I just get so frustrated at how I allow it to limit me. Glad to hear that even the hot kilt wear gents suffer from similar issues >wink
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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